A Cellist in the Tuba Section

Dear Giselle, I really liked this guy, but he's dating someone else. I know that I shouldn't be interested but I still really like him. Is there anything I can do to get over him faster? Thanks, Moving On Dear Moving On, Thank you so much for writing to me. I completely understand the struggle of trying to move on from a guy that's not interested in you. Keep in mind that you can't move on over night, and it's ok to take as long as you need to process your emotions. To start, I would suggest not communicating with him, maybe even breaking a Snapchat streak if you have to, and you could take a break from social media or just unfollow him for a while. Then, do some study on the purpose of dating, marriage, etc from the Bible and pray that you will be  prepared for marriage when the time comes. Finally, I would recommend going out to events where you might be able to meet a new guy, when you're ready. If you like someone new, you won't try to fall bac...

Dear Giselle, I'm currently dating a guy, but we're both going to different colleges next month. A lot of my other friends are breaking up to meet new people in college, but I really love my boyfriend and don't want to give up before trying long-distance, but I don't know whether we'll be able to make it work. What do you suggest? Thanks, Long Distance or Let it Go? Dear Long Distance or Let it Go, Thank you so much for writing to me. Pre-college break-ups are fairly common, but you don't have to follow the norm. Because I don't know your exact situation, let me give you some reasons for and against a pre-college breakup. You should break-up before college if... you don't want to commit a lot of time to making a long-distance relationship work. you don't want to be tied to a boyfriend from home when you're meeting new people at college. You shouldn't break-up before college if... you are happy in the relationship and want ...

Dear Giselle, I struggle a lot with my self-image, and I feel so uncomfortable in the summer because the clothes are so much smaller. What can I do to feel less self-conscious about my weight? Thanks in advance, Summer Self-Image Struggler Dear Summer Self-Image Struggler Summer is often a time when people feel most self-conscious about their bodies, but there are a few things I would suggest that can help alleviate those concerns and boost your self-confidence. First, I would suggest you look up Bible verses to memorize about how much God loves you. No where does God say anything about loving skinny people more than fat people or blonds more than brunettes. In fact, in 1 Samuel 16:7 it says, But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do noy look on his appearance, or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." (ESV). Remind yourself often of this truth because G...

Dear Giselle, My mom hates this band that I love. I don't know how to explain to her that it's something really important to me. Do you have any advice for dealing with a parent that doesn't support your interests? Thanks, Mom's Bad Band Dear Mom's Bad Band, Thank you so much for writing to me. I want to start by saying that you are certainly not alone in this situation. A lot of teenagers find themselves facing off with their parents about their interests, activities, friends, etc. It's important to keep in mind that your parents have your best interests at heart almost 99% of the time. (Yes, we're all human, and sometimes even parents can make selfish decisions regarding the activities or interests of their kids). So, the first thing I would suggest is looking at some of the songs with your mother and discussing why she doesn't like the band. Maybe it's the language the band uses, in which case you may be able to play certain songs that do...

Dear Giselle, How do I continue learning over the summer? Thanks, No Brain Mush Dear No Brain Mush, There are several free web sites that can be used to learn new material over the summer. The two that really come to my mind are Khan Academy and Lyrics Training: Khan Academy has a variety of topics from math to practical life skills. Lyrics Training teaches you languages through cultural music videos. Another option is to read some of the classics. This is my favorite summer activity. Some books to check out would be: Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice Mary Shelley's Frankenstein Agatha Christie books--mysteries are fun to make you think Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray Fyodor Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment You can also check out your local library for activities or suggestions for reading. Your loving sister and fellow cellist in the tuba section, Giselle To submit your own question, email it to acell...

Dear Giselle, I'm wondering what the big deal is about sending nudes? I mean, it's not having sex. They're just pictures. Sincerely, What's the Big Deal? Dear What's the Big Deal? Sending nudes is not a great idea for two reasons. First, it you're under the age of 18, it may qualify as child pornography under your states' laws, and possession of child pornography (yes, even your own nudes) could be considered a sexual offense. That's not something to take lightly. There was a student at my high school whose nudes got leaked and he was charged as a sexual offender. (He was a minor so everything's sealed, but still this is best to avoid). Secondly, your body houses the Holy Spirit, which makes it a temple. I know, I know, it's an overused line for everything remotely sexual, but it's a very real verse in scripture. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have f...

Dear Giselle, I really like this guy and he drinks a lot. I don't want to drink, but I don't know how else to get his attention. Do you have any suggestions for getting his attention. Sincerely, Drinking Date Dear Drinking Date, This sounds like a complicated situation, but I'll do my best to help. First, if either of you are under the age of twenty-one, remember that it's illegal to drink in the United States. If you're over twenty-one, or the legal age in your country, my advice would be to find a guy that doesn't need alcohol to have fun. You certainly shouldn't need it to impress him. Here's why: alcohol distorts reality. If you have to use alcohol to get a guy's attention, he's not paying attention to the real version of you. He's paying attention to a version of you that's a fantasy, like a dream. While we often have compelling romantic dreams, we usually don't act on those dreams in real life. If you're really sti...

Dear Giselle, Why am I single? Thanks, Sick of Singleness Dear Sick of Singleness, There are many reasons that you could be facing a season of singleness in your life. Given your limited contextual information, I will give several possibilities. First, this season of singleness may be a time to enjoy cultivating your own interests. Try things you've always wanted to do and enjoy the freedom to do what you want to do without compromising (except maybe on price). While relationships are amazing, don't forget that once you're married, you may not have as much time to discover your own interests, so if you've been contemplating that painting class, go sign up and give it a whirl! Second, this season of singleness may be resented because of a recent break-up or one awhile ago that was extremely painful. Now would be a good time to journal and weed out resentment towards any exes you may have. Pray for forgiveness for your exes, especially if you feel partic...

Dear Giselle, Do you have any tips for preventing summer boredom? Thanks, Looking for the Best Summer Ever Dear Looking for the Best Summer Ever, Thanks for an amazing question. Summer activities will vary based on where you live, but here's some things to consider when looking for things to do: Check with your town's recreation department. They usually host a lot of summer programs, like concerts, fairs, even some classes for painting, dancing, or similar things. Also, sometimes the recreation department will hire teens and young adults to help with summer camps for younger kids. This would be a very fun way to make money without feeling like you're doing work. Get online and check out quirky festivals in nearby towns. If you're in love with garlic, google Garlic festivals near [hometown] and see if there are any you can attend. You can try this with nearly any object or hobby to try to find free entertainment nearby. Check if your local library has any summ...

Dear Giselle, Why are women always told that men need to pursue in a relationship? Is there any Biblical support for this idea? Sincerely, Perplexed About Pursuit Dear Perplexed About Pursuit, There are Biblical passages for male leadership and there are also passages where women have leadership roles so this is a difficult question to answer. The main argument on the side for male leadership and pursuit is Ephesians 5:22-24 which says Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands . (ESV). Because this passage mentions male leadership's significance in marriage, many people believe that men should demonstrate that leadership before marriage by being the pursuer in dating relationships. This is an excellent point. Whatever characteristics you want in you...