A Cellist in the Tuba Section

Have you ever gone to an event, like a party or a dinner or a school dance, and you find yourself totally ignored. Maybe you stand awkwardly against a wall and no one sees you. Maybe someone cuts you off in line and you feel totally invisible. Trust me, I've had more than my fair share of these moments, when it feels like I'm wearing an outfit more fit for a ninja than whatever function I'm at. Recently I was at a graduation party for a friend of mine and I showed up, was greeted, and then promptly assumed my place in oblivion. I don't blame the host, because it was her party and everyone was demanding her attention and she really did try. I went with no intention or expectation of having a long, heartfelt chat with her. (Graduation parties are exhausting for the person they're honoring.) However, I did go in with the expectation that the other students there, both the ones who were in the now graduating class and the ones I had graduated with, would at least try ...

Psalm 147:1-3 Praise the LORD! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting. The LORD builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the outcasts of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (ESV) Have you ever had a day where nothing seemed to go your way? You got tons of homework, your friends ignored you, your crush won't talk to you, you got in a fight with your parents, or your car broke down. Maybe all of the above? When you're in the middle of that kind of day it can be really hard to know what to do. When I have an awful day, I find that I fall into the trap of impatience, and start getting mad that I'm still in a season of singleness, even if the cause of my bad day has nothing to do with relationships. The reason I want a boyfriend on those bad days: I want someone to comfort me. What I have to remember in the middle of a bad day is that I already have a comforter. God is able to comfort us at any time an...

It used to rule my life: the desire to be chosen by a guy. To be liked and get flowers and chocolates. To get asked to prom. To feel singled out for affections, chosen in the most glorious way I could imagine. In high school, I would plan outfits to try to catch a guy's attention. I would analyze a guy's actions with my closest friends for days. And it did nothing to fulfill me. It only made me feel like I had wasted a lot of precious time. Looking back, I realize I really did waste a lot of time obsessing over opinions that don't matter. Sometimes it was a teacher who I wanted to impress or someone I wanted to become friends with, but for the most part, it was usually the opinion of a guy I liked that mattered most. The desire to be chosen by a guy doesn't rule my life anymore. There are days when controlling my desire to be chosen is an uphill battle, and days where I lose that uphill battle, but I am no longer consumed every day by the stress of being perfect enoug...

Have you ever been sitting with a group of people and felt like your friends don't know the real you? Sometimes it can be really hard to show people the most authentic version of yourself, and sometimes Satan uses this to gain a foothold in our heads. He whispers, "No one knows the real you. If they knew what you've done, they wouldn't like you." In those moments, it will be very difficult to feel valuable and loved. However, Satan whispers lies. Jesus loves you, and there is no one who can ever know you as deeply as Jesus does. He sees all you've ever done, all you'll ever do, and knowing all there is to know about you, He chose to die for you so that you will have hope for eternity. So do not believe the lie that you have to hide behind a mask. There is someone who sees past all your masks and loves you more deeply and fully than you could ever fathom. Romans 5:6-8  For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one ...

Have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted deeply? Maybe your best friend promised you they wouldn't tell anyone about the guy you like, but soon the whole school knows. Or maybe it was a family member that you trusted to support you, and they let you down. Unfortunately, feeling betrayed is a common experience for people. We as humans fall short of the expectations of other humans. Even Jesus was betrayed by a friend when Judas plotted with the chief priests. So, the next time you face the pain of betrayal, remember that you can take it to Jesus. He understands the pain of your heart, and He is enough to sustain you through this time of deep heartache and loneliness. Psalm 55:20-22 My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant. His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords. Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous ...

Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." (ESV) Luke 10:1  After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them on ahead of him, two by two, into every town and place where he himself was about to go."  (ESV) Acts 4:32 Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common." (ESV) What do all these verses from throughout the Bible all have in common? They all deal with community. In the beginning, God saw that Adam being alone was not good. So, He provided Eve. When Jesus sent his disciples out to minister to nearby communities, He sent them out with a partner. Finally, we have the example of the early church. They stuck together and provided for each others' needs. So this week, no matter how outcast-ed and lonely you may feel, know that that f...

My sophomore year I joined the school band as an upright bass player. My first instrument, and the one I have most mastered, is the cello. I had been playing bass for just two months when I started in my school band. Many other band members had been playing their respective instruments since 3rd or 4th grade. I was the newbie and the only classical string player (although there was an electric bass player whose presence I am still grateful for). Being new and strange led me to feel like the other band members didn't like that I had joined the band. This caused me to play very, very quietly. I was terrified of what the other kids would think of my playing. I was particularly worried about upsetting a senior who played tuba, which is the section I was seated in. I felt that she was irritated by my mere presence when in reality she was just very shy which is why she didn't say anything to me. One of my first lessons with the band director, he told me, "You can either have a ...