Have you ever gone to an event, like a party or a dinner or a school dance, and you find yourself totally ignored. Maybe you stand awkwardly against a wall and no one sees you. Maybe someone cuts you off in line and you feel totally invisible.
Trust me, I've had more than my fair share of these moments, when it feels like I'm wearing an outfit more fit for a ninja than whatever function I'm at.
Recently I was at a graduation party for a friend of mine and I showed up, was greeted, and then promptly assumed my place in oblivion. I don't blame the host, because it was her party and everyone was demanding her attention and she really did try. I went with no intention or expectation of having a long, heartfelt chat with her. (Graduation parties are exhausting for the person they're honoring.) However, I did go in with the expectation that the other students there, both the ones who were in the now graduating class and the ones I had graduated with, would at least try to strike up some sort of small talk. They didn't. My smiles were met with avoidance of eye contact. In the line for food, I was ignored and cut off, and needless to say, I was more than a little uncomfortable and I didn't stay long.
But I could have handled it better on my end, in all honesty. I could've been willing to start the conversation. I could have introduced myself to new people. I could have looked friendlier instead of hiding myself in the safety of my phone screen and looking like I was immersed in the display of pictures. That girl who cut me off in the food line, maybe she was just having a bad day and too lost in her own thoughts to see me. Maybe her boyfriend was holding her spot. There's a million possibilities, but now that it's over, I don't have to play them over to myself.
So, yeah, it hurts to be ignored, and sometimes there's nothing you can do to make it better, but that doesn't mean that you just quit going to social events by yourself. You can start a conversation. You can do more than huddle in the corner. You can be a cellist in the tuba section and shine in the middle of the party, so get out there and leave your wallpaper pants at home.
And P.S. I needed this pep talk for myself more than anything.
Trust me, I've had more than my fair share of these moments, when it feels like I'm wearing an outfit more fit for a ninja than whatever function I'm at.
Recently I was at a graduation party for a friend of mine and I showed up, was greeted, and then promptly assumed my place in oblivion. I don't blame the host, because it was her party and everyone was demanding her attention and she really did try. I went with no intention or expectation of having a long, heartfelt chat with her. (Graduation parties are exhausting for the person they're honoring.) However, I did go in with the expectation that the other students there, both the ones who were in the now graduating class and the ones I had graduated with, would at least try to strike up some sort of small talk. They didn't. My smiles were met with avoidance of eye contact. In the line for food, I was ignored and cut off, and needless to say, I was more than a little uncomfortable and I didn't stay long.
But I could have handled it better on my end, in all honesty. I could've been willing to start the conversation. I could have introduced myself to new people. I could have looked friendlier instead of hiding myself in the safety of my phone screen and looking like I was immersed in the display of pictures. That girl who cut me off in the food line, maybe she was just having a bad day and too lost in her own thoughts to see me. Maybe her boyfriend was holding her spot. There's a million possibilities, but now that it's over, I don't have to play them over to myself.
So, yeah, it hurts to be ignored, and sometimes there's nothing you can do to make it better, but that doesn't mean that you just quit going to social events by yourself. You can start a conversation. You can do more than huddle in the corner. You can be a cellist in the tuba section and shine in the middle of the party, so get out there and leave your wallpaper pants at home.
And P.S. I needed this pep talk for myself more than anything.
Comments
Post a Comment