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Perplexed about Male Pursuit in Relationships?

Dear Giselle,
Why are women always told that men need to pursue in a relationship? Is there any Biblical support for this idea?
Sincerely,
Perplexed About Pursuit


Dear Perplexed About Pursuit,
There are Biblical passages for male leadership and there are also passages where women have leadership roles so this is a difficult question to answer.
The main argument on the side for male leadership and pursuit is Ephesians 5:22-24 which says Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (ESV). Because this passage mentions male leadership's significance in marriage, many people believe that men should demonstrate that leadership before marriage by being the pursuer in dating relationships. This is an excellent point. Whatever characteristics you want in your future spouse should be demonstrated in the person you choose to date. If you want a husband who's ready to lead the family, make sure he's a leader when you're dating. Don't expect him to change after saying "I do."
However, on the other side, there is the story of Ruth and Boaz where Ruth presents herself to Boaz for redemption and then he acts on that and redeems her. This was the Biblical equivalent of Ruth asking Boaz to marry her, so there's clearly nothing wrong with a woman taking the first step in a relationship, even proposing marriage.
I think overall, this is a question that you will have to answer with your own convictions, but I would say that expressing interest is perfectly fine for either party to do. And keep in mind that neither party should be doing all the work to make the relationship work.
Your loving sister and fellow cellist in the tuba section,
Giselle

To submit your own question, email it to acellistinthetubasection@gmail.com
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